There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
soo... how was my night?
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