the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
