$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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