He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
