I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
