glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
