Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
