remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
