dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize