singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
