..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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