so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
