Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
