This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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