Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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