I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
