We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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