Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
