i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
