week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I lost the right to judge tonight
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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