Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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