im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
