craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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