I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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