She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
