My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
