i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
