Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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