If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
