Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
