just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize