Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
