It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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