just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
