32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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