As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
whose parrot is this?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
