We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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