if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
