I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
