your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
