Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
