where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
