thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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