she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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