I want to make a zoo with you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
