Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
