Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
