I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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