I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
