how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
