Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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