i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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