By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize