god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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