I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just cut my nipple shaving
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
