Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
