3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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