if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
