I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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