ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
