my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
