There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Small penises have feelings too.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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