How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
third nipple confirmed
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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