I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
